Zee Arc Tune’z
Brand New View... Buckle Inn for the Ride!
My LIFE as I remember it…
I know this journal has been a confusing revelation of my life mixed with wacky humor and jest of my duel personality traits. But recently someone asked about my boy hood. So now that I have an audience in her and in regard to something specific I have been inspired to document it. However I do dedicate this article to that person, my friend : )P whom I have become quite fond of…
I was born in
I cherish the picture of me in my mothers arms because not long after that photo was taken my mother wasn’t allowed to hold me at my Fathers request to keep me from becoming a mamas boy or some sort of sissy. All of my father’s demands upon me did back fire upon him quite often for I was born with an acute sensitive nature and was in tune with the earth and mother nature who became my parent as my parents lived and fought out their vices and immaturities. Demons and ghost of that nature often followed me through out my life and into my relationships. It took some time before I noticed that I was much like my Father and the women were much like my mother in regard to the vices of the lower human nature. We all experience these moods, feelings and emotions. We have all acted upon them in some degree or another. However this attitude towards me and the constant travel of being the son of a military man caused me to become somewhat of an introvert, keeping silent, soft spoken and creating my own world to live in. All of this was displeasing to my Father who wanted me to be a superhuman like him.
This is an example of my Father…he signed me up for summer baseball while we were living and stationed in
I really want to start from the beginning…
My earliest memory goes back to diapers. The picture I’ve posted of myself drinking the remaining essence of Coors was my first real photo session. I remember being enticed down a hallway into a room where my parents said come on son wait till you see all the toys we have for you in here. They sat squatting at my level at the end of the hall as I made my first steps. My Dad was holding a camera and I wobbled towards them and suddenly he took the picture with a huge flash that blinded me and knocked me on my arse. I remember them speaking and understanding every word they spoke. I knew what toys were and my little heart raced as I made my way towards them. I can remember envisioning toys and happiness to see the surprise, until POOF; and I landed flat on my rear in tears. I clearly remember my parents going ahhhh and running over to console me. The flash of the bulb literally burned it into my mind and caused the moment to become a permanent memory that I have carried with me all my life. After that all goes blank until one day while sick I stared out the picture window from our couch. We were suddenly in
Next I was suddenly transported to Austin Texas and it was here that I became nature’s child. My mother had cut all apron strings and I was allowed to wander as I pleased. We had a creek behind our home that winded all over the place and each day I would go deeper and deeper into the wilderness. I can remember clearly some sort of protecting spirit guiding me. I remember this spirit to be Indian in nature and was neither male nor female. It was just a very thin cloud that spoke once in a while and was one with my conscious. It hovered above me and I was never able to really look at it directly. But I could see it in my minds eye as I was directed to wander the creek. At first I would wander the banks of the creek and witness all the wildlife scurrying about. I would continue the journey each day until one day the bank ran out and I was forced to enter the water and follow it first ankle deep, then knee and then waist until the final journeys were neck deep. The wildlife and I were one with each other. I was in such proximity that often the creatures would look at me briefly and then continue on with their lives. Once a pancake turtle swam up to me about knee deep and I picked it up out of the water. We shared a moment of eye contact as it blinked and blew little bubbles from its nose. I set it back in the water and watched it swim away. Once I came across a tiny pool of tadpoles and watched them grow each day upon my return into gigantic fish tadpoles. I had no fear of them and boldly would just reach in to the pool and handle them. Now I often have a moment of the jiggles just reaching into the hamster cage. One day upon returning to the tad poles pool they were simply all gone. I wandered the creek 6 to 8 hours a day. The only thing that would draw me home was hearing my Mother in the far off distance calling my name. Like some sort of Tarzana she’d yell in a melodic tone of loving sweetness… MYYYY CAALL….MYYY CALLL… MYYYY CALLL…and I would leap to her voice and run home back tracking my steps like Hansel following the bread crumbs. Once the Sun went into twilight and I was so far from home and had lost all track of time. I found myself scampering back wondering why she didn’t call me. Upon the banks as it grew darker and hard to see the trails and I slightly panicked for the first time, until I heard the deep chirp of the Bull frogs. They sat at the waters edge with firefly’s darting about them saying this is the way MICLE MCLE MICLE. They spoke to me saying we remember you…Do you remember us? I wanted to stop and visit but I knew this was no place to be at night and the Indian Spirit didn’t accompany on every journey. Or at least my deep subconscious wonder was always in effect. I came up to my mum from behind and tugged on her blouse. as I could see her stare nervously into the night. Dinner was on the table and the light from the kitchen shed that old fashioned glow upon her face. Where have you been she said, I’ve been worried sick? I said nothing but went on in for some chow. I was four years old.
I wandered the creek less and less as I began to develop relationships with the neighborhood children. I began doing the normal kid things like riding bikes and playing army man. But the creek came to an abrupt ending one day when I was about waist deep and I suddenly heard a loud scurry in the twigs from the bank and a splash. The Indian spirit suddenly appeared in my mind and said to stay calm and don’t move. Right in front of me swimming directly at me was a five foot water moccasin. It slowed down lifting it’s head from the water and then dove down about a foot and then swam gently pass my right leg. I could feel its slippery skin as I held still like a statue with my hands in the air growing steadily weary. As it passed its tail curled about my thigh for a brief second as if it were making a decision on whether to stop and inspect me further. But it suddenly shot off into the deep. I went directly home with a chilling feeling that I could possibly step on it or another. I never went that deep into the wilderness again.
My life at that time also consisted of two television shows that I watched religiously Spiderman where my Mother would come and scoop me out of bed at at my request and plop in front of the tube in the lounger to view where I watched my webbed hero and then would promptly fall off to sleep again. Then Red Skeleton who I loved like he was my Uncle or something. One day all my wanderlust came to a crashing halt of reality as we sat down for dinner. My Mother and Father looked at me as she made an announcement. Guess what Michael…I looked at them beaming with pride and grins as my sisters slurped. I answered them instantly… I’m going to school. The room went silent as my parents jaws dropped, saying how did you know? I said I guess I just knew it was coming. This was the first time that my parents looked at me as if I were from some other planet. I pretended to be happy and my Mother broke the ice by saying she had bought some new clothing and such. I was five years old.
To be continued....
23-5-14 - 4 -25
My Life as I Remember It